These Bumper Stickers Will Either Make You Laugh or Call the Cops

Bumper stickers… some people love them, some people hate them. Everyone has an opinion. Whether you think bumper stickers are a mode of creative expression or a tacky addition to your vehicle, these ones are sure to make you do a double-take.

Getting Creative

Are you one of those people who just has to let everyone know that you have three kids and two dogs? If that’s the case, you might want to avoid crossing paths with this driver. Points for spiteful creativity.

Retired from Life

At least retiring from work has its benefits. It’s too bad you don’t get a pension for retiring from driving.

Worth the Read

It might look long, but this bumper sticker is truly a wild ride. This story is possibly a better narrative than Harry Potter.

It’s True

Think twice about saying no to the McDonald’s drive-thru when your kid asks if you can make a pit stop. They might thank you for it down the line.

Ultimate Guilt Trip

If Jesus could walk on water, you can signal when you’re making a left turn, buddy.

Louder for the People in the Back

You! Hey, you! Did you hear? I have THOUGHTS about TOPICS and I want you to READ THEM while you’re STUCK BEHIND ME IN TRAFFIC!

Very Clever

There’s a time and a place for custom bumper stickers, and this is it.

Good Point

Thank you for clarifying. We had no idea.

Pitiful Flex

13 hours? Amateur. Get back to me when you’ve watched Game of Thrones for two days straight.

Somebody Come Get Your Mathematician

Cars can certainly be a weapon of math destruction…

Now? I’m Awesome

Everyone knows the coolest people drive minivans.

Road Rage

Actions speak louder than words… and horns, apparently.

Saving the Planet

If you don’t have an electric vehicle, this is a worthy compromise.

Moneybags

This is the only acceptable stick figure family. All the other ones can go home.

Wow, So Ironic!

Watch out, everybody, the king of irony has arrived.

R.I.P.

Gone, but never forgotten.

Don’t Text and Drive

Is this a commentary on voicemail transcriptions or should this person seek professional help?

The Unfortunate Truth

Do you think a cop would find this funny or annoying?

Outsmarting the Aliens

This is one of many reasons to wear your seatbelt.

Phone Addict

Does texting and driving count if your phone is the car?

Great Question

Well, it would probably cause the smelliest earthquake known to man.

Beep, Beep

Honk if you want to give yourself and the people around you a migraine!

Awww, Poor Guy

The t-rex from Toy Story had a really tough time in life.

Buckle Up Your Packages

Do you want to be a stick figure family person? Well, do you?

Stay Back

It is in your best interest to avoid tailing this driver at all costs.

That’s Reassuring

This car better be parked in a lot and not on the highway.

Getting Political

Noting like a little political commentary to get the engines revving.

Is Someone Going to Murder Denny’s?

Start with the corporations on Twitter who hired social media teams to pretend they’re a sentient entity.

A Little Alarming

Does the “B” in LGBT stand for “be careful if you’re driving behind this person?”

Seeking Justice

Chickens have rights! Let them cross the road without being subject to interrogation! Jeez.

Being Smart

Advertising this to the whole world is a boss move, honestly.

Speaking the Truth

These are straight facts that can’t be contested.

Get Out of Their Way

When you gotta go, you gotta go. Coming through!

What Happens When You Don’t Go to Church

Ah, yes, the church’s worst nightmare: gay witches.

You’ve Been Warned

Unless you want to be dragon chow, you better not be tailing this driver.

Slightly Offensive

This isn’t very nice, but at least it’s the truth…

A Lot Going On Here

So… are Democrats for Dumbledore?

Environmental Commentary

Cities are clearly not at all responsible for urban pollution. Nope, not a bit.

Called Out

I get the feeling that someone’s kid went to art school against their parents’ wishes…

Call the Cops

Does anything smell like rotting flesh to you? No, just me? Okay.

Ominous Message

This is a little V for Vendetta, don’t you think?

Hot Dog

Better be careful that you and your Weiner don’t get too hurt.

What’s Happening Here

Is this person… are they okay? Do they need an ambulance?

Atheist on the Road

Please, cite your beliefs a little louder. I don’t think the car behind you really understands how little you believe in religion.

Preach

People who park in handicapped spots when they don’t need to are the absolute worst.

A Little Rude

In that case, watch out for the moron in front of me.

Drag Them

Isn’t a website on a bumper sticker just encouraging people to use their phones while driving?

Another One

Man, these minivan moms are really bitter about their choice of vehicle. Just get an SUV.

Someone’s Lonely

How much do you want to bet this person recently went through a breakup?

Um, What?

Rule #1 of being alive: don’t touch things that aren’t yours without permission.

That’s Fair

I think we’re all guilty of asking our friend with a truck if they could help us out with something like this.

Owned

While this may be true, you should possibly be concerned that the person reading this is so close to your car.

Being Blunt About It

If Dorothy was a teen nowadays, this is exactly how it would have gone down.

Steve Jobs Strikes Again

Ladies and gents, he’s pulling pranks from beyond the grave.

Slow Down

Or, perhaps, if you can’t read the sticker at all, you’re driving too fast.

At Least They’re Honest

Is it still illegal if you apologize in advance?

Game of Thrones was Missing Something

When Flannery O’Connor said “A Good Man is Hard to Find,” she wasn’t joking.

The Brutal Truth

Ouch. At least they’re self-aware… and I say this as a former PT Cruiser owner.

Aren’t We All?

Maybe the moneybags stick family from earlier can help you out.

Do They Run On Gas?

Little-known fact: the most effective mode of travel is actually a velociraptor.

Slow and Steady Won the Race

Very funny. Someone give these jokesters a high-five.

It’s True

Well, they’re certainly not wrong.

Now Hiring

Spare wife anyone? Spare wife? Please, just one?

Love is Expensive

Why did nobody tell me growing up that falling in love could bankrupt you in the end?

How Old Are You?

I’m sure this guy is extremely mature and well-adjusted.

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Post originally appeared on American Upbeat.