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In Love book cover

In Love

by Amy Bloom

Memoir
Biography
240 Pages

"I read In Love on a plane and had to keep pretending I wasn't crying. Bloom's voice is so warm and honest that the grief sneaks up on you — and then it flattens you completely."

Synopsis

Amy Bloom began noticing small changes in her husband, Brian: an early retirement from a job he loved, a quiet withdrawal from friends, a growing distance she couldn't name. Then an MRI confirmed what they could no longer ignore: Brian had Alzheimer's disease. A man who had always lived fully and on his own terms, Brian was determined, as Bloom writes, to die on his feet rather than live on his knees.

Together, they made the agonizing decision to travel to Dignitas, the Swiss organization that provides assisted dying to those of sound mind who choose it. In Love is Bloom's account of that journey — the bureaucratic and emotional labyrinth of arranging it, the grief that ran beneath their daily life, and the love that made the whole thing both possible and unbearable. Written with the wit, candor, and piercing intelligence that define her fiction, Bloom's memoir is also, unexpectedly, full of life. A New York Times bestseller shortlisted for the Rathbones Folio Prize and named one of the best books of the year by the Times, NPR, Time, and Publishers Weekly, In Love is one of the most important memoirs of the past decade.

Our Take

What makes In Love extraordinary is Bloom's voice — warm, funny, unflinching, and incapable of self-pity. She is first and foremost a fiction writer of great skill, and she brings those instincts to memoir: the book moves like a novel, with scene and dialogue and dark comedy woven through the grief. The result is a reading experience that is genuinely hard to put down, which feels strange to say about a book with this subject matter, but is entirely true.

Bloom doesn't shy away from the ethical complexity of the choice she and Brian made, nor does she moralize about it. She simply tells you what happened, and trusts the reader to sit with the difficulty. It is one of the most honest pieces of writing about love, marriage, and loss in recent memory — and it will make you think hard about what a good death looks like, and who gets to have one.

Readers moved by In Love will find a powerful companion in The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, the definitive memoir of grief and marriage, and When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, a doctor's account of confronting his own terminal diagnosis with comparable lucidity and grace. Being Mortal by Atul Gawande provides essential nonfiction context on dying, autonomy, and the limits of medicine that will resonate deeply with anyone this book has moved.

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